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Seth MacFarlane
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Babysitting Is a Bum Deal
Here is a tale of a babysitting job. The baby is something of a snob. Stewie:Oh, go fuck yourselves!
So listen very closely and you'll find That what they say is not the same as what's on their mind. Haylie: Aren't you a cute little boy! Look at that melon-shaped head. Stewie: Having you here is a joy. And in an hour, you'll be dead! Haylie: Sit on my knee. Please don't go poo! Stewie: Nice place to be. This one's for you. Both: Babysitting is a bum deal.
Haylie: Why don't we watch Will and Grace? Jesus, do I need a smoke. Stewie: Jack puts a smile on my face. Oh, what a surprise, a gay joke. Haylie: I like your house. The ceiling has cracks. Stewie: I like your blouse. Miss T J Maxx Both: Babysitting is a bum deal.
And so they sat as time went by.
Haylie: As slowly as time could go.
The baby glared and softly cursed.
Stewie: Cause her lips and her skirt and her shoes and her hair made her look like a ho.
Haylie: Time for your bottle, my sweet. This little brat smells like piss. Find more lyrics at ※ Mojim.com Stewie: Always a succulent treat. While I suck that, you suck this! Haylie: Aren't you a sight? Look at him drool. Stewie: You're a delight. Damn you, you fool! Both: Babysitting is a bum deal.
The diaper change was quite a job.
Haylie: The grossest I've ever seen.
The baby smiled and took a breath.
Stewie: And I grunted and pooped out a poop that looked something like Matthew Modine.
Haylie: Someday you might meet a girl. Yeah, she's gonna be your right hand. Stewie: Maybe it's you, my sweet pearl. Darling, I'd rather fuck sand. Haylie: Have a good night! You little creep. Stewie: Have a good night. Die in your sleep! Both: Babysitting is a bum deal. Babysitting is a bum deal.
Haylie: So, you see, you got a really messed up kid here. I'd suggest you get him some help before it's too late.
Stewie: Gutter snipe!
Haylie: Freak! I'm out of here.
Lois: Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Haylie Duff.
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